For the past few years, I have been suffering. I wasn't in major pain and I didn't have any diagnosed medical condition. Still, little things like my joints ached, my cycle was painful, I couldn't lose a pound even with diet and exercise, and my stomach was always bloated. I always looked like I was 6 months pregnant, and it never went away. I tried seeking help through conventional medicine. But these doctors would run some blood work, look at the numbers, and basically tell me nothing was wrong. So, I read every book I could to try to self-diagnose, but nothing ever seemed to work. I am not an unhealthy person. I always take care of myself, eat healthily (organic, mostly plants, avoid gluten and sugar), exercise 6 times a week. I was also going to acupuncture, and that was helping but not really treating the underlying cause.
One day, I complained to my acupuncturist about my cycle, and she said, "It sounds like you have low progesterone. Why don't you go see a naturopath and have your hormones tested? Then they can get you on progesterone cream if that is the issue." I had considered the naturopath route before but always shied away due to the cost. I hated that I pay premiums for health care, and the standard health care wasn't doing anything for me. It seemed so unfair that I have to pay out of pocket to another doctor and still pay for health insurance to get the help. Don't get me started on the health care system (which should be called the sick care system). But two years is a long time, and the suffering was getting worse. I would spend half the month in pain and could not shake the feeling that my body was no longer mine. I went home and started researching NPs and found one that I connected with via her website, so I set up an appointment.
After the initial consultation, I knew that it was the right move in my gut, so I set up the first appointment and paid her $500 (for the first two appointments). I've spent more than this on a pair of shoes, and this was my health, so once I reframed it that way, it made total sense, and I let go of the anger at the health care system and just knew that I was doing something good for myself. I could hold onto that resentment, or I could take care of myself. After that, I wrote in my journal asking my guides to send me additional tools for healing. It was in this that I signed a contract with the Universe. I was sending a message, loud and clear, that I was worth healing. And the Universe/God responded immediately.
It's so funny how this works, but once you align with your goal, the manifestation just happens; there is no time, it is seemingly immediate, and it keeps coming. I got a ping to watch the movie Heal and to download a few books: Becoming Supernatural: How Common People Are Doing Uncommon Things by Joe Dispenza and Anatomy of the Spirit by Caroline Myss. These are both books about energy medicine and healing through neural reprogramming by changing our thoughts and behaviors.
Anatomy of the Spirit is about the body's seven centers of spiritual and physical power. She points out that in Hindu these are known as chakras, in Christianity, there are seven sacraments, and in the Kabbalah's there is the Tree of Life (also with seven branches). She talks of the seven stages we must pass through in the search for higher consciousness and how you can develop your intuition. By teaching you to see your body and spirit in a new way, Dr. Myss provides you with the tools for spiritual maturity and physical wholeness that will change your life.
In Becoming Supernatural we learn different meditations and how we have the capacity to tune in to frequencies beyond our everyday lives. This practice allows us to receive more coherent streams of consciousness and energy. We can alter our brain chemistry by reprogramming and through these practices, we can develop the skill of creating a more efficient, balanced, healthy body, a more unlimited mind, and greater access to the realms of spiritual truth. We learn how to demystify the body’s seven energy centers and how you can balance them to heal. We learn how to be free from the past by reconditioning our body to a new mind. And we learn how to create a reality in the generous present moment by changing our energy through meditation.
The third book I am reading is Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol by Holly Whitaker. This book is part memoir, part inspirational, very funny, and very relevant. When I started reading this I thought her drinking problem is nothing like my experience or why I decided to not drink for a few months, but damn does she lay out some truths. Why don't we question why it is totally normal to drink poison? In fact, it is more abnormal to not drink in our society. She covers how "big alcohol" is almost identical to "big tobacco" and why AA is not really designed to help women or other marginalized groups. And once she covers all the parts about how we are brainwashed into drinking, she gets into how to quit, like building a toolbox of supportive practices that can substitute for that glass of wine- like taking baths, reading inspirational books, tea, etc. This validated for me why I found it so easy to stop drinking. I already have the morning routine with meditation, lemon water, affirmations, and spiritual reading. I have an evening practice of restorative yoga, herbal tea, and hot baths, so giving up the fighting glass or two of wine didn't seem like such a big deal. I highly recommend this book, even if you just read it as a memoir it is highly entertaining and you will learn a lot!
At the same time that I got the pings to read the books and watch the movie Heal, I was listening to a podcast and got another ping. On this podcast, they were interviewing Lacy Phillips, who was talking about her manifestation program, "The Pathway 2.0". I had heard her talk about this a few years ago, so I was somewhat familiar with this neural reprogramming method. Still, I was immediately drawn in and knew this was for me. I talked about this in my last post. This method is based on neuroscience, physiology, epigenetics, and energetics- Neural Manifestation is based on raising your self-worth and stepping into your authentic self. From their website: "This process is backed by Neuroplasticity, which is the brain's incredible ability to change throughout our lives. It's a fact that every time we learn or do something new, our brain changes. Our brains are also shaped and molded by everything we have experienced – both positively and negatively. We can take agency over our experience and manifest the things we want in life instead of defaulting to a negative subconscious narrative. Identifying and reprogramming these limiting beliefs is exactly what you will learn in our workshops. Repetition and emotional intensity are key to creating lasting changes in your brain, which is why we recommend a daily commitment to this work for optimal results."
To say I am obsessed with this is an understatement. It takes you through a daily practice of journaling and Deep Imaginings (DI) that guide you to reprogram your past experiences from a more whole, loving perspective. This literally changes the neurons in your brain and gain control over your life in the present. This is everything I needed and more.
In addition to this work, my NP has put me on a treatment plan that includes herbal, vitamin, and homeopathic remedies to balance my hormones. In fact, my progesterone was low, and my estrogen was high. My adrenals needed extra support, and I had several vitamin deficiencies. She also prescribed me a set of affirmations to use daily 100 times a day. And we work together monthly to do additional inner child work, which she guides me through.
The other change that came about by listening to my intuition was becoming plant-based and alcohol-free. The plant-based part started back in September of 2020. I actually started because of the environmental impact. I would just eat more plant-based meals but not become entirely plant-based. I started by signing up for Purple Carrot, which sent me about 6-9 meals a week, entirely plant-based. I made it very easy and delicious to transition. I loved the food so much and felt so good eating this way that I slowly transitioned to entirely plant-based, though I now cook most of my own meals from scratch. Purple Carrot was great, but I felt like it relied heavily on grains and tofu and not enough plants. My intuition was turned on through, and I kept hearing the name Tess Masters. I have several of her books, so initially, I thought I was just being guided to cook some of her amazing recipes, by the way. I also went to her website and noticed she had a Fall cleanse coming up. Honestly, I kind of forgot until I heard her name again. This time when I went to the website, the cleanse was only a week away. I knew I had to sign up for this, and I did.
This cleanse is what really kicked me into gear. It started in mid-November, which also coincided with the time I started working with the NP. The Decadent Detox, as it is called, is a vegan, gluten-, grain- and sugar-free cleanse over 14-days. It is centered around a 3-day juice cleanse. The days before and after are basically there to help you transition easily in and out of the juice portion and make it easier to detox without all the adverse side effects. You start off eating raw smoothies, salads, cooked vegetables, and blended soups (days 1-4). Then you transition into 3 days of all raw foods (days 5-7) before the 3 days of all juice (days 8-10). To come out of the juice portion, you eat very light (day 12), think fruit and cucumber salad with some broth. Day 13 adds back salads with some leafy greens and fats, and on day 14-15, you start to re-incorporate some cooked foods. It is all designed to optimize your digestion and your results. If you just did a juice cleanse and jumped back into eating the way you used to, you would lose all the excellent work you did. And the juice part is not easy. It is a mental game and very doable, but not easy. This is a commitment to yourself, but once I make a commitment to myself, I keep it.
During this Fall cleanse, I lost 8 pounds, and all my belly bloat- my stomach was flat again- hooray! I felt great. I could finally sleep deeply and soundly. My digestion improved, my skin was soft and brighter, and even my eyes were whiter. Once the cleanse was over, I continued to eat plant-based. I had turkey on Thanksgiving, but that's the last time I had any animal products. It was also the last time I had a drink. I did re-introduce some beans and lentil and grains, but mostly its whole fruits and veggies. I decided to stop drinking for at least 3-months to give myself time to heal, but honestly, I don't miss it and will probably not go back to it for the rest of this year. I feel so much better without it. I have other practices to help me cope with my stress, like meditation, nightly restorative yoga, and my morning routine. It seems like more of something we are expected to do. It is "normal" to drink in our society. I just want to experience life without it for a while, to allow my body to heal and nourish it with healthy things.
After the cleanse, I also decided to quit drinking, at first it was just an idea to stop for 3 months. I thought that if I am doing all this work to heal, taking all these herbal supplements, and cleansing, then why would I put poison in my body? Why would I do anything that worked against my healing? I guess I was just really motivated to finally heal and this seemed like a minor sacrifice, or not really a sacrifice at all. I also wanted to see if my life would feel better without alcohol. It's now been 10 weeks and I can say that I like my life better without it. It wasn't really adding anything, except maybe a feeling of relaxation, but at what price? The price was bad sleep, anxiety, moodiness, and my health. Not a price I need to pay considering I can relax in a warm bath or with a cup of reishi or with meditation or restorative yoga. I have also discovered some really cool alternatives to booze (Kin Euphorics & Curious Elixers) that give the experience without the hangover or side effects. For the foreseeable future, I plan to stay off the booze and see what happens. I may have a glass of champagne from time to time to celebrate, but who knows, maybe I will just decide life is better without it and abstain indefinitely.
It is now January as I write this, and I am finishing the Winter Decadent Detox. This time I am also sleeping very soundly, my energy is very stable, and I've lost 4 pounds. The recipes are so good that I can and will incorporate them into my daily life. I've signed up for the lifetime membership, which includes 4 cleanses a year- one per season. I think it is a great way to reset, stay on track or not veer too far off, and gives the body a chance to heal on a deeper level. I know I will remain plant-based as it has always been something my body craved. I have tried in the past, was even vegetarian for 8 years in my 20's, but it was never easy, and I found myself trying to fit in with those around me. I am listening to my body, and for now, she wants to stay plant-based, so that's where we are. Feeling pretty great and on the path to healing my hormones and adrenals and feeling my best at 45.
I sometimes wonder if 2020 wasn't a gift in so many ways. Would I have gotten so quiet and listened to the guidance I was receiving? Would I have been as receptive to the suggestion? Being away from people for so long allowed me to go deep and listen to myself, which is a gift, and I am thankful for that. Don't get me wrong, I started the quarantine off binging on pizza and ice-cream and wine. But once that passed and I slowly surrendered to what was, my inner voice became so clear I could not deny it, nor would I want to. Once I started listening, the guidance just kept flowing, and the healing started almost immediately. Now that I am a clear channel and open to it all, I am excited to continue this journey.
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