The past two weeks have been more stressful than usual for me. I realized the level of stress I was under when I witnessed myself binge eating birthday cake for the third time in a row, literally inhaling it while standing at the kitchen counter. Come to find out self-destructive behaviors like binge eating, drinking or shopping are all attempts by your inner child to protect you from perceived harm. While I wasn't under any direct harm, worries over my child's mental health and the daily stresses of work, starting a new business, and the ongoing pandemic were enough to handle, then a fight with my mom set me over the edge. My body literally shut down and couldn't handle it anymore. Once I was able to witness this happening I knew I had to intervene with some self-care practices.
1. Healthy Eating
I started off on Sunday morning by writing down a meal plan for the week and then ordering fresh fruits and vegetables for my meals. I knew if I had a plan I could stick with it and eating healthy was a non-negotiable. When I am feeling run down and tired I know healthy food will have me bouncing back fast. And if I continued eating sugar I knew I would feel even worse.
Once my food arrived I set aside an hour to prep some things for the week. I made two dressings to keep in the fridge, threw some veggies in a pot to make vegetable broth that I could use for soups, I roasted a beet for salads, I made some quinoa, hummus and ginger shots. Then I threw together a quick avocado gazpacho for lunch and started back on track to eating healthy. I also threw away the last slice of birthday cake... ok maybe I put it in the freezer for an emergency. The point is just start where you are, no need to wait until Monday, your next meal can be a fresh start.
2. Books & Baths
After that, I ran myself a warm bath and added lots of magnesium salts and a nice lavender bath bomb. I lit a candle and got in the bath to listen to a soothing podcast- the Dear Gabby podcast Boundaries, Balance & Body Confidence. Gabby always helps me to find my center again and get back on track. A simple bath can really set the tone for self-care. You are telling your inner child that you've got this and everything is going to be ok. I like to add a mantra to my routine as well. I absolutely love the book Heal Your Body by Louise Hay. In this book, you can look up what part of your body is hurting or what ailment you are suffering and it tells you what the mind-body connection is and gives you a mantra to use to heal. It is always spot on.
"I am safe and at peace in this moment"
3. Professional Healers
Monday I started off with a smoothie and then made an appointment with a therapist and my acupuncturist. Trying to manage everything just wasn't working, I needed something more. I ended up finding a therapist that works with meditation and isn't just about venting your problems. He said he is about providing active solutions and helps you to work through them. I've been to therapists in the past but always felt like after awhile it just felt like complaining with no resolutions. Yes, it's great to have someone to talk to, besides my husband, but I want to work on healing old wounds and evolving as a human. I think with the world we are living in right now it is essential to have someone to talk to who can help guide you through all of this. It's important to have someone who can help you look at things through a new lens. After one session I learned so much about my relationship with my mom. It helped me to see the past with a whole new lens. He gave me a book to read called Homecoming: Reclaiming and Healing Your Inner Child and in future sessions, we will work on past trauma through inner child work. I'm excited about this, I know it is much needed and I felt some relief right away. You don't have to have a therapist, but if it is really important to have someone to talk to. If you are feeling stressed or anxious be sure to reach out to a trusted friend or family member.
I've mentioned this before, but in the winter of 2021, I spent a lot of time doing inner child hypnosis through a program called To Be Magnetic by Lacy Phillips. This program uses neuroplasticity, which is the brain's incredible ability to change throughout our lives, to reprogram old beliefs and traumas, and allow you to release shame, guilt, and self-criticism, and restore your confidence. I haven't been active in the program since June, but I'm realizing how much this reprogramming has shifted my beliefs and allowed me to speak my truth. I'm repeating the Unblock Inner Child program again now in order to continue this neural reprogramming. The meditations which are like hypnosis sessions as really soothing to the brain and provide an immediate sense of relief.
One of the other big tools in my self-care toolbox is acupuncture. I knew that my nervous system could use a major reset after the stressful week I had. I was able to get an appointment to see my acupuncturist and explained to her what I was experiencing. She knew exactly what to do and within 10 minutes my anxiety was gone and I drifted into a deep meditative state. The Aura ring I use to track daily movement, sleep and recovery recorded this session as a nap even though was not asleep- that is how much it reduced my heart rate. If you haven't tried acupuncture yet I highly recommend this as a self-care practice. It can be used to treat anxiety as well as other issues like migraines, hormone imbalances, pain management, infertility...the list goes on. It is probably my favorite thing to rebalance and I'm always amazed at how quickly I respond to those tiny needles.
4. Hobbies
Another tool I like to use is turning to one of my hobbies. For me this means being creative, I reach for my watercolors to paint a soothing flower or animal or I make candles, soap, or bath bombs. I have discovered all sorts of fun crafts through Crafters Box, a seriously cool company that provides all the supplies you need plus an online course to discover new crafts that can be really fun to explore. I have a membership so every month I can choose something new to explore (or you can skip a month if you end up with projects that are still waiting for you). If you aren't into crafts, you might have dance, golf, tennis, or another sport or learn to play an instrument. All of these activities help to soothe the mind by getting you out of your head and focusing instead on something creative or fun. I probably wouldn't have survived the quarantine of 2020 without these tools.
5. Exercise
I love to move my body, but when I am feeling stressed it can be the last thing I feel like doing. I find that sticking to a routine and making sure I get some movement, at least 30 minutes a day helps. It can be really helpful to get the heart-rate up, but even going for a walk can help, bonus point if it is in nature. Regular exercise works as well as medication to ease anxiety for some people. And it’s not just a short-term fix; you may experience anxiety relief for hours after working out. Some great options for at home are apps like Peloton, Tone It Up, Barre 3 or Melissa Wood Health.
6. Supplements
I have an arsenol of supplemts that help me when I'm feeling stressed, anxious or depressed. The first one I have mentioned before as it is my go-to queen bee, that is the Happiness tonic from Anima Mundi. This baby has all the good good. The Happiness tonic is everything you need to feel at peace. Accoring to their site "It may help stabilize hormone function, serotonin and dopamine, as well as provide a soothing effect on the nervous system." The formula is a mix of adaptogens, such as rhodiola and ashwagandha, with powerfully supporting “happy herbs” like St. John’s wort, mucuna and albizzia. These herbs together create a synergistic powerhouse that can help relieve stress, anxiety, and mood slumps. This one gives me a major pick me up. It isn't instant, but taken twice a day for a week you will start to feel better in a few days. I usual take this for two months, even after I feel batter.
L-theanine is another gem. You can find this in green and black tea or in pill form. I noticed it is in two of my supplements, the Calm Sweet Calm from Hum Nutrition and the CBD gummies I like from Not Pot. The Calm Sweet Calm is an all-natural, vegan gummy formulated with specific doses of ashwagandha and L-theanine, ingredients clinically shown to help reduce cortisol levels and manage the effects of stress on the mind and body. L-theanine is said to help ease anxiety, stress, and reduce insomnia. I guess this is why the British say a cup of tea solves all their problems.
Another favorite is reshi, this mushroom is an adaptogen. Adaptogens are, herbs or mushrooms that normalize the body and help it respond to and “adapt” to various types of stress. Adaptogens are used to support energy levels and the stress response system. Adaptogenic herbs help your body cope with the effects stress can have on your health. Before bed I love a cup of Mushroom Cacao with Reshi from Four Sigmatic, I mix it with water add some vanilla Nutpods creamer and a touch of stevia or honey. It tastes like dessert, so this can also be a great way to curb sugar cravings.
Another adaptogen that seems to be in many of my supplementI is Ashwaganda, also known as Indian ginseng. Ashwagandha has traditionally been used for stress management, sleep, cortisol balance, nervous system health and more. Ashwagandha may help to nourish and maintain optimal health by supporting a stabilized mood, energy levels, and overall immune function to help you stay centered and thrive. The Calm Sweet Calm supplemt I mentioned earlier contains Ashwaganda, as does Super You by Moon Juice as well as their Spirit Dust and Dream Dust.
7. Sleep
Finally sleep, we all know it is important and when stress kicks up it is often the first thing to go. I'm actually pretty good at sleeping and I think it is because I established a serious bedtime routine that helps to calm me and get my mind ready for bed. I use at least one, sometimes all of these tools. First is a warm bath with magnesium salts and lavender bath bombs (my favorite is Lush Twilight bath bomb and the whole Sleepy bath line). I don't go on social media for at least 1 hour before bed- this is crucial- nothing like a political post to get you fired up right before bed. Therefore, in the bath I read a book or listen to calming music, no social media (save that for tea breaks). Most nights I also do restorative yoga. I like the Peloton app for this, they have tons of choices, all different lengths, I normally like 30 minutes, but even 10 minutes can help. Finally, I read for 20 minutes before falling asleep. Most nights I get so sleepy ready that I can't finish the paragrah, so I have to put the book down and go right off to sleep. Just like social media, I find it's crucial to choose a fictional book for before bed. I save the non-fiction for my morning routine and weekends. It is too stimulating and you want a nice story to take you away from your thoughts. If you like there are also some nice stories that you can listen while falling asleep. The Aura ring has some great stories in their app but I also like the Calm app for this.
I can't forget a nice cup of camomile tea before bed. It is a definite must to help calm the nervous system. I like any simple camomile tea or the Republic of Tea makes a nice Beauty Sleep tea which is different as it turns a beautiful blue from the blue butterfly pea flower, and doesn't taste like your typical camomile tea, it's quite delicious.
These tools are my survival kit when the stress and anxiety comes on strong. I know we are all under a lot more pressure these days, so I figured if it helps me it might help you too. Let me know what works for you and stay healthy!
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